BIG IDEAS

Can your remember the rules of the games you played as a kid?  To be honest, I have fond memories of playing “Kick the Can” in an alley near Fulton Street in Baltimore, and have wanted to teach my kids, but Lord knows I can’t remember the rules.

“Kick the Can” would seem self-evident, would it not? But it was a lot more complicated than that if I recall. Part hide and seek, part dodge-ball, part-tag. I can’t imagine it being fun without a nice dirty alley and the occasional stray cat to terrorize, or a mean neighbor lady to throw hot water on you.

Here’s what I do remember:

HOT BUTTER BEANS

Probably called something else in other places, but in Baltimore we had to hide a belt. Usually under somebody’s white marble front steps or behind the tire of a Ford Galaxy 500 or in the gutter. Once hidden, you did the whole “You’re getting colder, you’re getting hotter” thing. Whoever found the belt got to beat the living hell out of everyone in close range until you got back to the safe spot. How crazy is that? I mean, seriously - a freakin’ belt.

BRITISH BULLDOG

Very basic. A mix of dodgeball and rugby. One person (the “bulldog”) stands at the center of the room. Everyone else lines up at one end and must run to the other end without getting caught. If the bulldog catches you, he gets to lift you as far off the floor as possible, yell “1-2-3 British Bulldog” and then body slam you into the hard floor/concrete/ground and try to make you cry with pain. You then get to be on the bulldog’s team and take it out on the next guy who gets caught.

We played this well into my teens, usually on the hardwood floor of my church Guild Hall at St. James Episcopal after Boy Scout meetings. Essentially it was the scoutmaster’s of channeling the natural aggressive energy of teen boys. It worked.

SKELLY

Marbles basically, but for people who could not afford marbles - like me and my friends. Coke bottle tops filled with hot tar from the sidewalk on a hot day, or candlewax. You could cheat and put a penny under your wax and it made your skelly top heavier so it would be sure to knock everyone else’s out of the box.  Get knocked out, lose your skelly tops.

STREET BALL

Full contact tackle football. On the four foot wide cement sidewalk. No joke. I have the scars to prove it. Many a head got cracked open on a car door or fender.

KILLER BALL

More letting teenage boys blow off steam and aggression, but with the element of drowning. We played this - in the nude by the way - during swim class in my public high school, Baltimore Polytechnic. The rules? Just one. Hit, slap, chase and try to drown whoever gets the ball and hope someone has the decency to pull your head up when they can’t see anymore bubbles.

Now chances are you missed all of that explanation because you’re still trying to get pass the nude thing. This apparently was a fairly common thing in all boys schools until the early 80s or so. The reasoning - at least we were told - was that teen boys were so careless and prone to nastiness, that it was more hygienic to swim nude after showering than it was to swim in the often mildewed swimsuits often left in lockers.

The jury is still out on this explanation.

What kind of games did you play as a kid?