Just when she thought she was out, they pulled her back in.
Ready to start fresh after her stint as supporter-in-chief of waterboarding, subterfuge and a domestic policy of complete disregard for the law, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice did a speaking gig at Stanford University, her alma mater. While there, she ran into a couple of enterprising student journalists who pinned her against the lecture hall bulletin board and peppered her with questions about Guantanamo. Ultimately Condi sent the newbies back to the stacks, looking the whole time like the estranged relative who didn’t want to have to defend, yet again, the unsavory family history.
Inspired by the miracles of Lindsey Lohan and other too-numerous-to-mention-by name celebrities, Michael Vick is on his way to a drug rehabilitation program, according to The Black Report. Drug rehab?? Wait a minute. Though he did fail a drug test while waiting for sentencing (and who is surprised by him smoking a spliff under those circumstances), Vick was up for animal cruelty charges, not a three-strikes drug sentence.
While Vick has to transfer to Leavenworth, not Promises, he stands to gain a lot more than Lilo from his stay: If he completes the prison-monitored program successfully, he could cut his 23-month sentence by eight months. Couple that with the possibility of reduced time for good behavior, and Vick could get sprung by the end of 2008. Which would, in turn, mean all could be forgiven by the NFL, and Vick could return to the league without having to drop the $20 mil salary rebates currently in demand. Needless to say, PETA is P.O.d. The only thing they were willing to give him for completing their rehab program was a certificate.
If there is such a thing as karmic balance (and, yes, Tawana, I believe there is), all is right with the fact that Kanye West resolved his intellectual property dispute with stunt meister Evel Knievel just days before Knievel died of a heart attack. The two daredevils were at odds over West’s reenactment in his “Touch The Sky” video of Knievel’s 1974 attempted jump over Idaho’s Snake River Canyon and his use of the name “Evel Kanyevel”. Not believing in imitation as the sincerest form of flattery, Knievel went on a public rant about the evils of Kanye’s “filth” (aka, rap) and its responsibility for the decay of American morality, inflamed, no doubt, over the high-school dropout’s on-camera fondling of that bastion of blonde virtue, Pamela Anderson.
While it is most definitely pleasing to think that young blood West has that kind of juice, methinks Knievel drank too deeply of the right wing kool-aid being served down at the grand lodge. In the end, Knievel was man enough to admit his initial impression of West was off, that dude was a “wonderful guy and a gentleman,” and they were both able to walk away from the encounter better men for it.
